About the family home... (2017 - 2018)

The family continued to live their basic and difficult lifestyle. It really felt like they (as a family) were just about managing to keep their heads above water - even with the help of my friends and myself.

The family were continuously worrying about having some money to buy rice but I ensured that they had the money to continue with their lives as a family.

Sadly, when I visited them in November 2017, the family were really worried about losing the 'property' that they lived in. A large influx of Chinese nationals had been arriving throughout the year  and it appeared their objectives were to buy as much land and property as they could, demolish it all, then build large hotel/casino complexes.

I had for some time (several previous visits) been looking at properties in Sihanoukville with a view to purchasing one, so I had an idea regarding standards and prices. I had noticed that prices had started to increase due to the influx and purchasing power of the Chinese community and the sterling/dollar exchange rate was also having a negative impact on costs.

In the next four months prior to my visit in March 2018, I had a number of video call conversations with Mao and Ngeang who were clearly extremely worried that they would be told to leave their 'home' as the owner would want to sell to the Chinese. If this happened they didn't know what they would do. They feared the family would split up, be homeless and would experience all the distresses that would accompany such thing.

When I visited them in March 2018, their lives continued to be difficult, but clearly the worry about losing their 'home' was hitting them hard - I saw tears. After some discussion and following my request, they spoke with the owner regarding how much the 'property' where they lived would cost to buy. They were 'happy' to continue living there - as it was a (leaky) roof over their heads and they had friends living around them. However - and I was almost thankful - the price the owners wanted was extortionate to say the least and so I returned home almost as worried as they were about their future.

On the long journey back I made a big decision - I was going to buy a property in Sihanoukville. Within a few days I told Mao and Ngeang that I wanted to buy a property near where they lived and if they knew of one, to let me know. A few days later, they video called me and told me there was a house for sale very near where they lived and it was really nice (I realised they would be comparing it to their 'house'). They knew the lady who was selling it and so I asked them to ask how much it was and to take some pictures if they could. They visited the house and spoke to the lady, took pictures - which looked ok by their standards - and told me the price. I asked if they wished it was their house and they both clearly would be overjoyed if it was... and so to cut a long story short, we had discussions as to how best I could secure the property. They went to a solicitor on my behalf, the purchase was agreed and the legalities progressed - with some furniture (two beds and a large wooden unit) being included.

Once the purchase had been finalised - within a few days and with minimal formalities -

I asked them if they (as a family) would like to live there (I didn't need to ask, I knew what their response would be). I told them they should move their (few) belongings there - and live there.

They were overwhelmed and whilst I was fully aware that it was still very basic (especially on the upper floor) and could be vastly improved, to them it was a palace!

Having the security of their new home certainly lifted the mood of the whole family. Whenever we made video calls, they were so keen to show me the house, especially the likes of where they were all sleeping.

I visited them in November 2018 and as always, it was great to spend some time with them. They were thrilled to show me the house and raved over such things as the tiled floor (which was good for them to lie on to keep cool), the kitchen that had a work surface and some cupboards. The purchase had also included two beds, one a very large bed that the mother and two boys slept on - although the mother liked to sleep on the floor also to keep cool. This large bed was also popular with those members of the family watching the TV. The other smaller bed was occupied by Muy. Both these beds were downstairs in the living area.

Upstairs was very basic as I already knew. However compared to their old accommodation the upper floor was safe and not dangerous. There was also a basic hardboard partition - which gave a little privacy for the guys - although they had to share each 'room'.

It was good to catch up with them properly - whilst keeping in touch with regular video calls helped to follow how they were, spending much time with them gave a better understanding of how they were coping and progressing.

Som (the eldest) continued to work in restaurants/bars on the beach - but spent much of his time away from the family home whilst acting as night watchman overnight.

Mao had been (and continued) to use the family motorbike to help the family but also often used it at night to provide a taxi service. This was a very inconsistent source of income - but he was always proud to tell me he was a motorbike taxi driver!

Ngeang had continued to have work - although with a couple of job changes, whilst Gdam appeared to do little!

Muy continued to work at the coffee shop - where she had made a few good friends and really appeared to love her job. However I was aware that she often worked very long hours (6am to 9pm) and did tend to have problems with her health. I did suggest to the family that maybe she was working too much and whilst I knew they needed the income, she was probably losing as much by being off work sick.

The two youngest boys (or 'gangster brothers' as I had nicknamed them) continued to attend school every day and were growing up and looking healthier.

At the end of my trip to see them in November 2018, I felt happy that they were in a far better situation than they had ever been - and they told me this on many occasions whilst I was there. They had also told me how happy and thankful they were, many times.

Progress made... (2019 - mid 2020)

Sadly, I was unable to visit them in 2019 - the first year I had not been since I first met Mao in March 2011 - however we had regular video calls and continued to help them throughout the year. I had been desperately keen to visit them but the circumstances just wouldn't allow me to.

At the start of 2020, Gdam got a job - and so all five of the eldest were working and I began to realise that soon they may be able to support themselves and knowing that the contributions I received for them, such as for schooling and food would continue, if they had any 'spare' money, they could buy something for the house that we would feel was a necessity - whilst they would see it as a luxury.

I had been able to buy them a fridge/freezer - with much of the money coming from one of my overseas friends. I realised it was something they badly needed - how do you keep meat/fish safe to eat when it is in 30C all day before cooking!

The family were thrilled. They had never had such luxury - and the young boys were fascinated that they put water in the freezer and later took ice out (after peeping in the freezer umpteen times to check it!).

Sadly, as the coronavirus pandemic started taking its toll, businesses in Cambodia began shutting down. This became almost catastrophic for the family as one by one the four that were employed lost their jobs whilst Mao would have had virtually no customers and they were also supposed to stay at home. All schools closed, so the two young boys were at home also.

The consequences of this meant all eight of the family were remaining at home with no income whatsoever, one TV and a couple of mobile phones for entertainment. It was also the hottest time of the year. Sadly, I found out that the TV had stopped working and could not be repaired, so I had another problem to resolve!

I realised they were going to have massive struggles to cope and - as I knew they were always so shy and reluctant to ask me for help - I continually asked them if they had money for food. There were a couple of occasions where the realities of the situation began to hit home. Mao showed me that they were having some fish with their rice but the piece of fish looked to be around 3" x 2" - that wasn't for one person, that was to share between eight!

Almost each day, I continued to ask if they had food. After a few days Mao admitted they only had a little rice and had no money. He showed me the large jar where they kept their rice. There wasn't enough to feed a small child never mind one of the young boys!

Luckily they were still able to buy rice and within hours they had a 50kg bag - which I knew would last them a good while. Thankfully, it had taken a huge worry off their shoulders.

Being in lockdown myself gave me a great opportunity to think about many things. One that was uppermost in my mind was the question of if/when I would be able to visit Cambodia again. It had been 15 months since my previous visit (whereas I normally visit them 2 or 3 times each year) and I had planned to agree some improvements to the house - with the family. However, the lockdown gave me the opportunity to progress matters from home!

Realising that all eight of the family were at home, I asked them to discuss improvements they would like to see done to the house. They responded well and after discussing many things with them - especially Ngeang - I told them how and what we would do.

Ngeang took the lead from their side and I told him what to do from 6,000 miles away! I had Cambodian methods, culture, misunderstandings and frustrations to deal with, whilst Ngeang had me to deal with! This kind of activity was very new to Ngeang but he was very keen to be involved and so keen to learn too - so that it would maybe help him in the future.

What was agreed and what was delivered were two different things - although the cost remained as agreed. However I was thrilled at some of the work that was done that I wasn't fully expecting. The family became increasingly thrilled at the improvements as they progressed and I too was pleasantly surprised at the transformation.

Impact of the Coronavirus pandemic in the UK compared with Cambodia 

These are my views of the differences between the two average lives of many people in the UK and Cambodia during the pandemic lockdown period.

Maybe we, in the UK, should reflect on how different life in lockdown was for us compared to somewhere like Cambodia. In the UK, the government helped many people with financial support to help them continue their lives until they could resume working - whereas in Cambodia, people lost their jobs with no support and no income! - as simple and as harsh as that.

Those in the UK who were suffering financially could obtain food from food banks - whereas in Cambodia, a foodbank would be seen as an absolute luxury - unbelievable! Whilst many in the UK could work from home with the technology that is common place in many UK households, many Cambodians are thrilled if they have access to a TV and mobile phone. 

In the UK, many spent lockdown improving the look of their garden and/or home whereas many Cambodians never have enough money for a small tin of paint and don't have gardens! Basically, they were stuck in their homes with little to do.

School children in the UK were able to continue their education to some degree because schools and households had the technology to enable them to do so. Many children in Cambodia were told that schools were unlikely to be open until November after the rainy season.

Mao

Mao (incidentally that is not his proper name - which is Sal - but his nickname that everyone calls him by) has continued to be an important part of the family. He continues to help them by being the main driver of the family motorbike and to help the two youngsters in their development taking them to school each day. He also helps his mother when she needs to get food from the market.

In 2019 he found work in coffee shop - delivering orders - but sadly after several weeks the Chinese owner employed another Chinese person and ended Mao's employment.

For some time, Mao has been doing taxi driver work on his bike - usually working late evening until the middle of the night. The work is unpredictable but he feels he contributes to the family income and is rather proud of his role.

Several years ago, Mao asked if he could look on me as his father as he had not had one since his father passed away. Obviously I was touched and honoured - and said "Yes!"

Muy

It took a while for me to get to know Muy. She was a rather shy and timid girl when I first saw her but then when she started attending school regularly she became more confident and whilst she began smiling at me, she did not speak English. Trying to help her development by talking to her through Mao and Ngeang, she said she would like to learn English. Thankfully when I told someone of this they kindly agreed to pay all her fees at the school. She attended for around two years and had good reports - with her reading and writing getting good marks.

For the last couple of years she has worked in a coffee shop and her confidence and personality have blossomed - as she has - into a lovely young lady.

Pich

Like the other children in the family, Pich was not attending school when I got to know them, but likewise with help from my friends, he soon had a school uniform and started attending school every day.

Pich tends to be a little shy and quiet - although he appears relaxed with me. He doesn't find it easy at school but as he is attending everyday then hopefully he will improve.

The bottom right hand picture shows him with a menu - apparently that was his computer! Sadly the best technology he has access to is the family mobile phones.

For several years his upper teeth were badly decayed, however he is now proud to show his new teeth. 

Oh.... and like his elder brother (Snar) he can clear a big plate of food and then help others clear their plate!

Mom

Mom - is the name the family call their mother. I cannot remember her real name having only seen it written down a couple of times. Unfortunately, she speaks little English and what she does speak I find difficult to understand but she always thanks me for the help I provide for the family.

She lost her husband (father to the 5 eldest) when Mao was about 6 years old. Obviously her life became so hard - with little or no money and/or food. Apparently she was offered money to sell one or more of the children on a number of occasions - but thankfully resisted the temptation.

She then had another partner who fathered the youngest two but it seems he disappeared from the scene - although occasionally (maybe once a year) he will take Snar to Phnom Penh for a few days - but tragically has nothing to do with Pich.